No Problem- A Problematic Slapstick!

If you don’t have a functioning mind Anees Bazmee’s ‘No Problem’ is just fine. If you don’t value the time in your life and want to waste it over watching a great star cast ( legends like Paresh Rawal, Anil Kapoor, Sanjay Dutt, Sunil Shetty, Sushmita Sen, Shakti Kapoor and Kangana Ranaut) waste their talents away, go watch No Problem!

Retro Brigade

I cannot comprehend, that when you make a movie to please masses it doesn’t mean you make a movie without any common sense whatsoever, after all mass doesn’t equal mental people! I had to leave the theatre after 2 hours and 15 minutes when the obvious climax wouldn’t end and I simply couldn’t and wouldn’t endure anymore. (FYI: I’m a film lover with an incredulously high tolerance level!) . Gorillas were literally talking when I walked out! Since this is a style review blog, I’m going to focus on highlighting the trends or lack of thereof in this flick. We’ll start with the prettiest Kangana Ranaut, (Sanjana) who through the film is seen as the delicate heroine besotted by her own beauty and with our second lead actor Akshaye Khanna (Raj) who plays a small-time crook.  With her florescent retro look, her attired pieces in isolation are not as jarring as all of them put together frame after frame in this film about cops and robbers. Some of her styling tips are interesting where she pairs a black tote bag with a loud pink outfit, or an emerald green gown with slacks paired adorningly with bulky gold belts. Once gain she highlights a trend repeatedly seen since ‘Gangster’ and ‘Fashion’ of wearing chunky bangles and bracelets in one hand while the other remains bare. Dressed as a Punjabi bride she is far from a glam dulhan (bride) and quite practically attired even cute, in a red Patiala with golden hair accessories from a paranda in her hair to little jhumkas (bells) in her braid, a nice touch I must say! As for Sushmita (Kajal) who plays her sister with a dual psychotic personality who aims to kill her husband Anil Kapoor (Inspector Arjun) for ten minutes each day when she gets her fits, she portrays a very bland classic sense of dress. With her silhouette grey gowns and off shoulder blouses a keen effort is clearly made to highlight her miss universe hour glass figure with minimalistic use of accessories. Even in the Punjabi wedding number she is seen in a cream and lemon green sari, barefooted with simply an armlet to adorn her. In contrast Kangana is over glossed but pretty as a Parsi bride in her white greyish stunning sari with matched accessories. Also portrayed in this flick is her Cleopatra look, with a black wig and poker straight fringe, giving her a youngish look which is somewhat ‘Barbieish.’ Neetu Chandra looks hideous in her foundation layered makeup, with her garish ill fitted dresses and visible tights as she jumps over ships and docks. While the women meekly attempt to steal the show the men are not far behind, the most stylish was Paresh ji, a depiction of classic elegance with his corduroy hats, well tailored grey and chequered suits, contrasted silk ties and adoring demeanour.  

Anil Kapoor as fit as ever with his riveted framed brown glasses and dark trench coats pulled off a convincing Durban cop. Akshaye Khanna’s styling was un-noticeable as always as opposed to a macho Sanjay Dutt with cool green pullovers, a semblance of tattoos over his broad shoulders and Indian silk sherwani in the Punjabi number. The styling in the film was immensely better than the plot which was an amalgamation of 22 different scenes, from psychosis to, supermen, to suicides to robberies to balloon accidents to paralysis to really ugly goons who I think were trying to make an attempt to look like a hammed version of the X men. Our old favourite Ranjit displayed a senile portrayal of a villain with long curly locks sort of like a yeti. Quite Yuck!

After all of this if you still want to go for laughs don’t’ expect anything, watch out for the dude who aims to commit suicide every now and then in the film and just watch with bored amusement as he throws in one unimpressive dialogue after another.  Go with a blank mind and perhaps a video game on your phone to keep you occupied as even with all the eye candy it’s not paisa vasool and can’t compare to No Entry, Welcome or even Singh is King. But the good news is that with new entertaining options each weekend a hard to bare flick like this is ‘No Problem!’

My Rating:   Minus (-) 1 /5

By: Lily Shroff

Band Baaja Baaraat- Wedding Bells!

My first instinct to audiences is ‘Yes go watch it!’ Director Maneesh Sharma’s Band Baaja Baraat may not be a wildly original concept for the Yash Raj banner or vividly thick with complex cinematic plots, but they’ve cleverly based their marketing campaigns on the standard Indian ideology of ‘who doesn’t enjoy shaadi ka dhamaal?’ Just basic simple entertainment is what the film provides, a refreshing new face of semi stud Ranveer Singh who delivers brilliantly for a new comer and Anushka Sharma who is consciously carving a non-glam niche role for herself in her last two films.

Shaadi Mubarak!

 The flick is about the story of wedding planners who start off with humility in the lower middle class gallis (lanes) of purani (old) Dilli (Delhi) and strive hard to make it big. As fate/Yash Raj, would have it one drunken night leads the hero, heroine into each others arms and beds thereby creating the only twist to this 3 hour film where they post the interval, struggle against their own emotions to finally kiss happily ever after. In the interim are of course 2 to 4 shaadis (weddings) and co-ordination hassles which keep the audience riveted.

What was interesting was the complete authentication of the depiction and language of the middle class Delhi youth, their dialect is a cross between Hindi and Punjabi along with a heavy slang. Ranveer’s character, Bittoo Sharma is from Saharanpur and Anushka’s character is the feisty Shrutti Kakkad who is ambitious and the brain behind their event management company ‘ Shaadi Mubaarak’. Since the placement is old Delhi, the designing of the garish set and the outfits are pretty similar. Anushka sports well fitted salwars and patialas through the film along with trendy causeway woollen stoles and light jhumkas.(earings) As for Ranveer, since he plays a tapoorish (indisciplined) sort of character, bling shirts, a purple velvet jacket and boyish uncombed locks reflects his personality aptly. Use of sequined fabric popularly called ‘ Tikli’ is generously used in the film. Heavy jari, (embroidery) flowers and beaded dupattas are the flavour of the wedding season. Make up is sublte and nudish showcasing the simplistic characters of the plot, there is a stage number just about okay to groove to but the hit single is Ainvayi Ainyayi which has a brilliant melody to it.

Exciting Exchanges

A stage like setting and extra bling is the best way to describe the mood of the film, nothing brilliant but still refreshing enough and worth a watch.

My Rating: 2.5/5

By: Lily Shroff

Knock Out- Knocked Out of my Senses

‘Was Knock out entertaining?’  ‘Yes for the masses.’ ‘Was Knockout a plagiarized copy of the Collin Farell thriller, Phonebooth?’  ‘Yes.’ ‘Was it as good?’ ‘ Uhh...ok next question’  ‘Will you buy the DVD and watch it again sometime?’ ‘Never in a million years! ‘ . Mani Shankar’s Knock Out, made me wish I had a gun to my head. The story of a morally challenged guy who stops by a PCO (I haven’t seen a bulletproof non STD PCO like the one shown in the movie in my 22 years in Mumbai, clean, transparent, with newspapers and a copy of Vogue on display ) and has a sniper take him hostage making him confess his crimes and sins infront of the world and live television.

Formal Flavours

So there are 5 main characters in this movie 1. Our sniper Sanjay Dutt, who is the guy hidden in the glass building and strutting about in his black sweater, white round neck t-shirt, khaki trousers and fancy piece of metal aiming at the booth. His character has the vision to return 32 thousand crores (catch him with the shunya shunya shunya dialogue) to the Indian treasury. Moving on to character 2. Our sinful ladies man and Indian version of Collin Farell (shoot me now) is Irrfan Khan. With Gucci shoes, an Armani suit, a diamond Rolex (worth 1 Khokha translated 1 crore) and mutant eye ware with purplish red frames, he is the hostage and this dude apparently can transfer millions of dollars from Swiss banks into any account anywhere in a matter of minutes even as bullets are fired. He also cheats on his salwar clad wife, drugs and takes advantage of women, supports a brothel, which is all easily forgiven and dances to the popular Bollywood track’ Zara Zara touch me touch me’ not to mention cheers the audience on as he braves the bullets and  transfers money. Sigh! Character 3. Is our very own desi bred Kangana Ranuat, gone are the days of journos with dark circles under their eyes, khadi coats and jholas, we have reporter Nidhi (character name) reporting crime with an off shoulder tunic, grey stylish overcoat, pursed lips and stilettos! Her English has improved ever so slightly and her role is quite authentic, she conveys the persistent character of reporters today and also cheers on as the money transfer occurs. Finally we have character 4 and 5, who are the cop played by a sweaty Sushant Singh in a blue shirt and once again Raybans (this is a serious trend catching up) and manicured white safari suited politician Gulshan Grover who delivers to the characters effectiveness.

Overall entertaining and irritating!

My Rating: 1.5/5

By: Lily Shroff

Aakrosh – Corruption weds Aggression!!!

After Anees Bazmee’s Deewawangee where Devgan and Khanna share screen space through aping the Richard Gere thriller- Primal Fear,  this is the second time these two actors come together In Priyadarshan’s film- Aakrosh bringing  a shockingly realistic and dingy story to audiences. 

Anger & Aggression

 Depressingly dark, sadistic and a saga on corruption in the North Indian village of Jhanjar in Bihar, the plot unfurls to a situation where 3 Delhi boys disappear suspiciously and 2 CBI inspectors  (our heroes in crisp shirts, trousers and Raybans aka Dabangg) come in to investigate the crime. This film with a strong story line leads to a feeling of queasiness and discomfort. The usually talented and pertinently styled star cast with Paresh, Ajay and Akshaye fail to create value entertainment for the audiences with poorly crafted car chase and roof jumping scenes, add to it over greasy cops, and immensely putting off politicians.

 There are many styling errors in this film particularly with Bipasha, for one she plays the meek wife of a corrupt and abusive police officer (Paresh) so naturally she appears washed out in her nine yard drapes which apparently were saris brought in by Rocky S, all the way from Kolkata.  Her only accessories are her subtle bindis and long mangalsutra. But what is interesting to note is how as a villager she still has pink fake nail extensions in one of the scenes and distinctly obvious ringlets and a set perm! I guess with all the battered woman syndrome endurances, she has the time to ring some curlers into her step cut hairstyle.

The Indian Demure Look

 I would say her acting and stretch of a de-glam look was the worst element in the film (just go to get the popcorn when you watch her fake crying and the icing is her accented hind..scoff away!!) . Sameera Reddy’s item number is a sad addition the film could have done without, no spice at all. But wait... hers is not the only dismal potrayal, catch Akshaye screaming each dialogue by Aditya Khan with such apparent exaggeration. Finally the highlight of grossness is a tongue cut... yes tongue cut Raima Sen ending the film with such a poor climax. With all the negativity, if you still want to see it for the truthful portrayal of the goons who lead sections of our country watch it for Paresh’s excellent depiction of the blatant corrupt Bihari cop, Ajay’s stoned frowns and some eerie scenes. Not suitable for kids!

My Rating: 1.5/5

By: Lily Shroff

Crook – A shade of grey.

The first thing you look for in an Emraan Hashmi film is the sex appeal. Add to it a Mahesh Bhatt production and you know the storyline will be intense, probably highlighting a social cause and there will be a new chic again probably a shy soft- spoken damsel. Yup, all these things are present in Mohit Suri’s latest flick- Crook! A story about the race war in Australia and our sexy Emraan (Suraj/ Jai) caught in the middle of it.

Upclose & Personal

Debutant Neha Sharma (Suhani) is a chic funky looking gal sporting denim hot pants on the beautiful white sandy beaches of Melbourne along with her stylish shrugs and  H&M style multicoloured bangles. Also to watch out for is the hunky muscled up Arjan Bajwa who plays the angry brother. I expected much more from him and he kinda lingers on the shades of grey.

Lack of strong characterization the film lags through the first half and like the usual Mahesh films the last half hour is a mix up of various intense plots leading to an equally intense climax. 

                                                         

The Punjabi migrant dudes are styled appropriately with their fake jerseys and brightly matched jackets with jogging pants and jeans. An interestingly funky attribute is their spiky haircuts and cool Desi Indian semi branded jackets which bring a hip-hoppish look to the gang. Another striking element is the firang chic who plays a stripper with whom Emraan shares the sizzling kiss (as much awaited and repeated). Toned and striking, she also adds that oomph factor to the style sequence with her funky halters and poker straight hair. Music is just about ok with the ‘ Dane dann’ Punjabi track only lingering in memory. Interesting watch on the whole, not too bad!

My Rating: 2/5

By: Lily Shroff

Eat Pray Love – Philosophies and Personal Reflections? Not Really!

‘What’s a word that best describes me?’ is the question which is the theme of director Ryan Murphy’s film. The search for balance and identity is the story of Liz Gilbert (Julia Roberts) who is a writer, going about the mundaties of an urbane life, unhappy in her marriage to Stephen (Billy Cudrup) and has along the way lost the will to feel alive and passionate about anything.

Love in Bali

She enters another relationship with a stage actor and still doesn’t find what she’s looking for. So Liz heads out on a journey across Italy, India and Bali quite literally to Eat, Pray and Love! Somewhat of a drab, this film has a strong storyline but does not quite make you smile or think, just possibly shrug with exasperation!  I’m reminded of a film called ‘Under the Tuscan Sun’ which showcases the same message of self discovery in a more enjoyable, folk stylish and philosophical way. The initial part lags on and there is no real meaning across her trips.  

India is portrayed through a biased view and highlights a stupidity reflected through an old world image of India, especially with the elephant walking up to her in the middle of the city, dirty Thumps Up bottles and mosquitoes (Is didn’t like that portrayal). From purchasing a lavender satin nightie for herself in Italy and enjoying pasta with friends, to sporting the meditative Osho look in India with jholas, Fab India pants, rudraksh malas (beads) to Indian silk drabby saris (looking like a NGO worker uuggh) to finally strappy spaghettis’ and straw hats in Bali - the styling like the film follows no real effort highlighting a casual local lazy flavour. Compare it to Julia’s usual classy look with her spunky hairstyles in real life opposed to this sad reel, where you may just see hints of a well fit cardigan, a tiny diamond bindi and subtle makeup.

 

The Balance lies Within.

The finality to the cringe fest is watching an over aged yet hammed up Javier Bardem trying to be a sexy happily ever after prince when he just looks drugged out and botoxed in the process. On the whole Eat, Pray and Love at home, totally not worth a watch except to scoff at! With all India has to offer as a film destination they could have at least made her wear some bangles, payals (anklets) or even a nice dupatta (scarf) instead of the sad Indian silk that too with a bun!

My Rating: 1/5
By: Lily Shroff

Do Dooni Chaar – A Dream to Reach a Destination in Style!

A delightful film about families coping through a tough society, trying to fulfil their dreams, aspirations and living up to the best standards they can in a symbolic and judgemental world. Here’s a  film about saving face and the struggle of patriarchal member of the family to fulfil each member's wish along with his and their only salvation being humour, patience and each other.



Hum Do Hamare Do & Humara Bajaj!!!



 Simply one of the best watches all week, the authenticity highlighted of this family plot set in Delhi by debutant director Habib Faisal is real and captures the mood quite perfectly. The adorable Rishi- Neetu pair captivates us with their demeanour and middle class looks.  The casting with Aditi Vasudev playing the short- tempered daughter and Archit Krishna, the gambling teenage brother with raging hormones gives immense volume and relatability to this perfectly rounded family.

 Rishi Kapoor (Santosh Duggal) who plays an underpaid teacher with his ponch and Punjabi accent, dark green pullover sweater over his tucked-in shirt reflects the dad’s of the Indian middle class sections. His demeanour and dialogues portrays brilliantly as he cringes to order an aloo paratha (potato pita bread) at a dhabba (local diner) other than the plain one so he manages to save at least a bit more. The style is authentic from the tacky cluttered Formica based 1 BHK house with unmatched sheets and pillows to the salwars and gold hooped earrings’ that adorn Nitu (character name Kusum) as the tactful woman of the Duggal household. The daughters, need to get a job at call centre to then sport designer Pumas and flashy cars conflict with the other requests of the family.

Dreams through Desires...

The story covers how each member of the household has their own dreams and they all grasp desperately at fulfilling it when news of a little ray of hope enters in the form of an income tax refund for Mr Duggal. An enjoyable element is the chubby cute sister who overrides their plans with the declaration that her husband’s sister would be getting married in Meerut and it would be extremely necessary for the Duggal family to be there and enhance her status in her household by arriving in a car instead of the two –wheeler they possess.

The plot then leads to a corrupt cop, naughty students, cautious neighbours, a gambling teenager, a sweet shop owner and status conscious relatives all to complete this Delhi based family’s adventure in getting a car. Overall family flick must watch and knowingly relate. Overall fresh and fragrant comedy!

My Rating: 4/ 5

By: Lily Shroff